Weeks, they just keep flying by...I have been "chatting" with Sarah almost everyday through Facebook, Skype or email. Neither one of us think of it as a "crutch" just a way to say hey. Today she left for Berlin for a week. This will be the longest we haven't communicated since she left. I told her to write everything down because in years to come she will appreciate the memories. This got me to thinking... Sarah has been writing in her journal regularly, I know because she has asked us to send a 2nd one as she will run out of paper shortly. She has mentioned that she doesn't write everything down that she is thinking or feeling because some day she wants me to read her journal. I don't think that it is a bad thing to NOT write all your thoughts down. Some inner thoughts or contemplations are just meant for yourself. This blog is kind of like a journal for me. I want to share some thoughts and activities that have been happening. I certainly wouldn't write all of my thoughts or feeling in a blog for all to see. I wouldn't even write all my thoughts in a "private" journal! I have kept a journal two times in my life. Both of my trips to Europe are documented. I would like to say well documented but I reread them this weekend and parts are pretty weak! BUT... they did bring back great memories. I think I may pick up a journal again. Not to write in daily but maybe so that I can write stuff down so I won't forget. (I don't have Alzheimer's, but I do have a horrible memory!) We have been doing some fun stuff lately. I may even write down stuff that happened awhile ago, our trip to Mexico was amazing, Disney World was amazing, weeks spent with friends and family have been amazing. I should not depend on my memory.
This weekend I spent on my own! Brian went to MSU to pick up Zach and they headed to Iowa to visit with Aunt Mary and the family, see some camp people that are at the University and get away for the weekend. I had an excellent time! Friday I never left the house, I actually never even got out of my sweatpants! I watched two movies, took the dogs for a nice long walk and read my book. I did not do a minute of housework! Saturday I had to work for a couple of hours then I watched two movies, the MSU game (sad) and read my book! I vacuumed only because the dog hair was driving me crazy! So far today I have read my book, took the dogs for a walk and hung out on the Internet. Why is it that it took a weekend by myself to figure out that I don't have to stay busy, keep the house in order and do, do, do? It's not like Brian expects me to be spending my time off cleaning, the kids don't care. So, new goal... chill out on weekends. I don't have to do... I can just be (deep, right?) and I will write about it! Julie
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
I think of the weeks through weekends
The weeks that have passed since the kids have been gone can so far all be measured by what we have done on the weekends. It has been fun, and eye opening. I have talked about most of them except last weekend and this past weekend. I am going to touch base on those because in their own way they had a lot to do with the Sarah and Zach.
Two weekends ago on Sunday Brian and I decided to go for a drive straight East - it was beautiful out and the trees were at peak colors, we got to Bay City, went to State Recreation Area and then decided to go to Frankenmuth (Little Bavaria). As we were driving there Brian had on his German accent (laugh out loud) and once we got there we took pictures of all things German, we even tried to recreate a photo or two that Sarah had sent us! Although we were clearly not in Germany with Sarah and there was a "park like" quality to the whole town it made us think and talk about her all day. How "wowed" we are by the things she is doing. How proud we are of her for taking this leap. How excited we are for her future plans for this coming year and yes, how jealous we are that she gets to do all this great stuff! We are so darn happy for her. We ate cheese, sausage, pastry and had a great day. It did not give us a sense of longing to see her but just gave us happy thoughts and stories. Not being able to Skype, that was really difficult, especially as the days went by and we all tried and COULD NOT MAKE IT WORK! Finally today, yes today, I was able to Skype with Sarah and all is right with the world. I look forward for Brian and Sarah having that same time very soon.
This past weekend we went to visit Zach at MSU. On Saturday we had tickets to the Homecoming football game. We arrived at 10:00am and I was immediately overwhelmed by the shear volume of people! 70,000 people and I believe they were all at one tailgate or another. The quantity of food and beer that was being consumed at 10:00am was madness. We had touched base with Zach but knew we wouldn't see him until after the game since he had student section seats. Brian and I got to our seats and I knew I would not be moving again until the end of the game - 69 rows up and packed like sardines! AWESOME game though as MSU came away with a win and are currently undefeated! Zach found us at 1/2 time to say hey - what a wonderful feeling I had just giving him a quick hug. I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks! I could go on to all of the details but then this would go for pages rather then paragraphs. Zach had no plans other then to be with us until we left on Sunday. My boy has grown up. It was so fun to be with him and great to hear about school, classes, exploits (I am sure there are some we don't even want to know about!) and people he has gotten to know. Mostly it was good to see with him and hang with him. I really think that Zach has found a sense of calm at a school of 45,000. I hope that he succeeds and continues at MSU, he certainly seems like he is on his way. I left yesterday loving the son we raised very much! I look forward to being with him at Thanksgiving. I am grateful that he and Brian get to have a guys weekend in a couple of weeks.
Here is something that didn't REALLY occur to me until we got home last night. I am not the only empty-nester in our house! That may sound dumb or selfish but when I thought about writing this blog I thought about what I would be going through or feeling. It took Brian finding me last night while I was putting stuff away to remind me that I am not the only one going through this. Now, I won't talk about Brian's feelings because that is not my place (too much), but... the house feels "empty" after returning from a great visit. It's quiet. Brian was able to say that, he misses the kids. He likes to hang out with his kids. Me too.
Two weekends ago on Sunday Brian and I decided to go for a drive straight East - it was beautiful out and the trees were at peak colors, we got to Bay City, went to State Recreation Area and then decided to go to Frankenmuth (Little Bavaria). As we were driving there Brian had on his German accent (laugh out loud) and once we got there we took pictures of all things German, we even tried to recreate a photo or two that Sarah had sent us! Although we were clearly not in Germany with Sarah and there was a "park like" quality to the whole town it made us think and talk about her all day. How "wowed" we are by the things she is doing. How proud we are of her for taking this leap. How excited we are for her future plans for this coming year and yes, how jealous we are that she gets to do all this great stuff! We are so darn happy for her. We ate cheese, sausage, pastry and had a great day. It did not give us a sense of longing to see her but just gave us happy thoughts and stories. Not being able to Skype, that was really difficult, especially as the days went by and we all tried and COULD NOT MAKE IT WORK! Finally today, yes today, I was able to Skype with Sarah and all is right with the world. I look forward for Brian and Sarah having that same time very soon.
This past weekend we went to visit Zach at MSU. On Saturday we had tickets to the Homecoming football game. We arrived at 10:00am and I was immediately overwhelmed by the shear volume of people! 70,000 people and I believe they were all at one tailgate or another. The quantity of food and beer that was being consumed at 10:00am was madness. We had touched base with Zach but knew we wouldn't see him until after the game since he had student section seats. Brian and I got to our seats and I knew I would not be moving again until the end of the game - 69 rows up and packed like sardines! AWESOME game though as MSU came away with a win and are currently undefeated! Zach found us at 1/2 time to say hey - what a wonderful feeling I had just giving him a quick hug. I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks! I could go on to all of the details but then this would go for pages rather then paragraphs. Zach had no plans other then to be with us until we left on Sunday. My boy has grown up. It was so fun to be with him and great to hear about school, classes, exploits (I am sure there are some we don't even want to know about!) and people he has gotten to know. Mostly it was good to see with him and hang with him. I really think that Zach has found a sense of calm at a school of 45,000. I hope that he succeeds and continues at MSU, he certainly seems like he is on his way. I left yesterday loving the son we raised very much! I look forward to being with him at Thanksgiving. I am grateful that he and Brian get to have a guys weekend in a couple of weeks.
Here is something that didn't REALLY occur to me until we got home last night. I am not the only empty-nester in our house! That may sound dumb or selfish but when I thought about writing this blog I thought about what I would be going through or feeling. It took Brian finding me last night while I was putting stuff away to remind me that I am not the only one going through this. Now, I won't talk about Brian's feelings because that is not my place (too much), but... the house feels "empty" after returning from a great visit. It's quiet. Brian was able to say that, he misses the kids. He likes to hang out with his kids. Me too.
Monday, October 4, 2010
True Friends
I got to spend the weekend with my best friends in the world this past weekend and it's not because I am an "emptynester". We get together as much as we can in any given year. We call ourselves the BIG F friends. We are friends that know A LOT about each other but love each other anyway. We go back a LONG way, almost 40 years for some of us, as little as 27 years for others.
In the midst of card playing, laughing, drinking and eating this weekend we also read a letter that Sarah left for us before she departed for Germany. I won't go into great detail of the letter but the "gist" was that Sarah looks to these friends as "aunts", "other mothers" and friends, they have always been a part of her life. She mentioned in the letter that she was at times jealous of the friendship that we have. She looks to our friendships when she creates bonds with new people. And of course, she mentioned that she expects all of my friends to be there for me and take care of me if I get down about her being gone. Duh, of course they will be there!
Here is what I want to say to her. It takes work to develop friendships like we have and it takes time. There have been literally years when have not all seen each other. There have been years when others have gotten together and I wasn't there. They were able to develop relationships that I wasn't even part of. That doesn't matter. We have a commitment to each other to stay in touch and stay friends. Time and distance don't matter after awhile. When we get together it is like we haven't been apart. We might look a little different (Mary is still thrown by the fact that I no longer have platinum blond hair). The internet is an amazing thing. We can see each other, each others family, comment quickly on something someone has done or posted a picture of. I think that has certainly helped in the last few years, but I did mention that we have been friends for 30+ years, long before we were all messing with email and Facebook.
I am a very lucky woman to have these wonderful woman in my life. We will always have each others back, help when we are needed, seek help when we need it. There are others in my life that I can count on of course. I have an amazing husband and great parents, a brother I can count on, a son and daughter who will take care of me in my old age and lots of wonderful friends but I also have 6 other women that I can call my sisters. I love them, they know that but I wanted to say it again.
In the midst of card playing, laughing, drinking and eating this weekend we also read a letter that Sarah left for us before she departed for Germany. I won't go into great detail of the letter but the "gist" was that Sarah looks to these friends as "aunts", "other mothers" and friends, they have always been a part of her life. She mentioned in the letter that she was at times jealous of the friendship that we have. She looks to our friendships when she creates bonds with new people. And of course, she mentioned that she expects all of my friends to be there for me and take care of me if I get down about her being gone. Duh, of course they will be there!
Here is what I want to say to her. It takes work to develop friendships like we have and it takes time. There have been literally years when have not all seen each other. There have been years when others have gotten together and I wasn't there. They were able to develop relationships that I wasn't even part of. That doesn't matter. We have a commitment to each other to stay in touch and stay friends. Time and distance don't matter after awhile. When we get together it is like we haven't been apart. We might look a little different (Mary is still thrown by the fact that I no longer have platinum blond hair). The internet is an amazing thing. We can see each other, each others family, comment quickly on something someone has done or posted a picture of. I think that has certainly helped in the last few years, but I did mention that we have been friends for 30+ years, long before we were all messing with email and Facebook.
I am a very lucky woman to have these wonderful woman in my life. We will always have each others back, help when we are needed, seek help when we need it. There are others in my life that I can count on of course. I have an amazing husband and great parents, a brother I can count on, a son and daughter who will take care of me in my old age and lots of wonderful friends but I also have 6 other women that I can call my sisters. I love them, they know that but I wanted to say it again.
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